Despite dreams being the most fictitious thing we will ever experience they do have the power to effect us mentally and in some really dark times in my life there was one reoccurring dream that would impact my attitude on a daily basis.
I’ll be the first to tell you that I have had some bizarre dreams in my life.
My subconscious has created scenarios that has seen me as Taylor Swift’s best friend with the pair of us training to run a marathon together as well as a dream where I had my first pet since moving into my flat – a koala.
Then come the not so nice dreams, the nightmares, I am sure we have all experienced the falling sensation during the night as well as other notable nightmares, one of mine that I will never forget is being chased by a masked man armed with a knife in a hall of mirrors, and don’t even get me started on sleep paralysis!
But the point of this blog post isn’t for me to ramble about the bizarre dreams I have had in my life, it’s to talk about the effect they have had on me mentally.
Last weeks episode
In the early parts of last week an incident occurred which had me very annoyed at a particular person and I took that anger to bed with me and as a result I had a dream that saw me wake up 10 hours later even more annoyed at them.
Although the content of the dream was entirely fictitious the feeling of anger remained.
I spent the entire day even more annoyed at this person, more so than when I went to bed and even when the incident occurred which is something I am sure happens to us all.
This all happened over a week ago. The anger towards this person is no longer there and the effects of the dream perished with that, but it still happened.
My past reoccurring dream
Last weeks dream leads me nicely to a reoccurring dream I had while I was struggling with depression.
A dream that added an extra weight of misery to my overbearing sense of negative wellbeing.
In this dream I was locked in a dome shaped room within a research facility.
I was all by myself and all these amazing moments and memories I’d collected throughout my life were implanted to trigger an emotional reaction for research purposes – I simply had no free will.
This dream didn’t stop after my travels, a time in my life which people think was the end of my struggles, which is something I have always tried to explain wasn’t the case, it was simply a start in the next act of my life.
I had this dream while I was living at home post travels and even when I first flew the nest and lived in London for a year, but I am happy to say it has been around a year since I last experienced it.
The mentality effects
The worst thing about the dream wasn’t the content of it, within seconds of waking up I was aware it was a dream and that all these things i’d experienced weren’t implanted as if I was living in the Blade Runner universe.
It was the effect it had on my attitude towards what I was doing in the days to follow that was the real issue.
To wake up from a dream where I had no free will robbed me of any drive and motivation to do anything that would keep me ticking in a positive direction.
Not because I believed the content of the dream, as I have said I was fully aware of the fictitious level of what my subconscious was presenting to me (The same way I’m not expecting to run a marathon with Taylor Swift anytime soon) but in the same way last weeks dream had me even more annoyed at a person, this particular dream had me drenched in a shower of negativity.
Moving forward with it
One thing I didn’t do as well back then as I do now is deal with it, which is one of the main differences between where I am now mentally compared to back then.
With my reoccurring dream I would just wait for it all to blow over, sometimes it happened quickly, other times not so quick.
When you compare it to how I dealt with last weeks dream where I was handed a bit of a reality check before setting two targets over the next four months compared to effectively doing nothing, you can see the big difference.
Who knows if I will meet those targets, that’s all down to me and the effort I put into it, i’m not saying this motivation wouldn’t have happened without the dreams mentality effects but I am sure it helped a little
There you go, a very different blog post to what I usually write but I wanted to share details of the reoccurring dream I had during my struggles and how I have dealt with the mentally effects of dreams since.